Be present in your messy.
"I'm a hot mess" "Life is just not going as planned" " WHY IS NOTHING WORKING OUT?!"
Is this quoting a frequent inner-monologue? After the jump check out how MM co-founder, Jesse Palmer, has learned to embrace the sometimes messiness of her life (both personally and professionally) with a smile!
A couple of weeks ago I was in a yoga class and I was a mess.
It was my first time in class ( I mean ANY class) in a while, and I had a lot of trouble. My hands kept sliding in down-dog. I couldn't get the right hip rotation in my Warrior 1. All you yogis know those practices where you just aren't all there.. and all you non-yogis think I am slightly crazy for doing things like a "down-dog" or "Warrior 1". BUT my point is this: things just weren't going my way. Also, this class was hard. I normally enter a yoga class pretty confident. Between my yoga practice and my dance training, I can navigate any advanced beginning class pretty well, but not this class.
I was pissed, at first. I could feel the rage start to bubble in my stomach, the kind of rage you shouldn't feel anyway, but certainly not in YOGA class. Then, you guessed it, the shame spiral begun:
"If you were in better shape this wouldn't happen to you. If you were more spiritual and committed to your practice, you'd be able to do these inversions.. "
We all know what this looks like, and it isn't pretty. It is pretty messy in fact. There was a point where I actually thought, "Seriously, You should just leave.. this is going terribly. You will never be able to recover". Then a miracle happened.. I giggled. I actually laughed out loud at myself. In the moment-- I realized: It is ok to be messy, and in fact I am messy, and that is OK. Some people are put together perfectly in every way, and that is great for them. I, however, am not. I am put together just the way I want to be. If we are being honest, it is a little frayed around the edges and doesn't come together quite the way it is supposed to. We all have our rough patches, our quirks, our things that make us unique. The important lesson comes when we look at the lens in which we see these quirks and how we move through them.
In order to successfully get through this class, I had to move through these messy judgements and thoughts that were passing through me. Previously, I was letting them stick to me like spaghetti sticks to a wall, slowly sliding down, hanging around for way too long. NO LONGER.
One tactic to moving through these feelings of negativity is to be present. It is tough. My mind wanders. I'm thinking of to-dos, of blog ideas, "oh god, look at my ass in the mirror"... and so on. It is perfectly FINE for our minds to wander, for us to think to day dream, but these things should move through us. Through this practice these mantras:
As I clung to them while practicing, I was able to be more successful and more happy! Here is a shocker-- This happens when I audition, too. This whole fighting my messy and losing my current place in space and time.. it happens to me all the time. I am a real believer in the fact things that surface in our careers are also areas of opportunity in our personal lives too. When a practice becomes second nature, no matter where it falls in our lives, it becomes a habit. Then, we are more successful because we don't have to think of a million things at once! It could be the amount of coffee I consume before entering an audition or it could just be my insecurities getting the best of me OR I could have Mild ADD.. who knows. I have to tell you when I decided I had the power in this situation, everything changed. When I claimed my power through the use of my mantras, things really started to look up and I embraced the beautiful mess that I am!
Have you ever felt like a complete mess and gotten to the other side of it? I want to hear all about it in the comment section.