Finding Comfort in the Uncomfortable - Part 2
by Caitlin Hornik, MM Alumni & Marketing Manager
A little over a year ago, I wrote an article with the same name upon learning that I'd be taught a proper tango to be performed for my cruise ship job.
Well fast-forward a year and I once again found myself in a similar situation-- but this time, the job is a leading role in a national tour of a brand new children's musical, and the dance style is hip hop.
I'd only ever taken one hip hop class in my life and it did not go well in my honest opinion-- hence the reason I didn't return to continue training in that style!
I found myself in the same situation as with the tango of having to learn a new skill on the spot, but this time in front of dancers who have tons of previous experience with hip hop. They made it look so easy-- Likely because of the confidence they possessed in themselves and their skills.
Needless to say, I was feeling pretty discouraged by the end of that first week of rehearsals. The gremlins I work so hard to keep at bay were slowly creeping back into my mind, cultivating this self-doubt that I hadn't felt in a while. Was I doing it "right?" Did I look okay doing these dances? More importantly-- How would my body hold up during the next four months?
I quickly realized that if I were to enjoy the rehearsal process and the three months of tour, I'd have to make peace with hip hop and these thoughts of doubt. I told myself that I would not have been given this job and this specific opportunity if the creative team didn't think I had the ability. I wouldn't be in this position if I didn't possess the skills deep down ... somewhere! This soul searching and realization helped me regain my confidence. I stopped looking at the ensemble dancers in a comparative way-- "Comparison is the thief of joy!"-- and focused more on how I could learn from them.
Well, now I'm six weeks into the tour and I can confidently say that those gremlins have disappeared. I dance with joy and pride each and every night. Those "pops" and "whacks" that I do in those dances come more naturally than they did when I began, which is purely a testament to the fact that practice does, in fact, make a world of difference.
So does confidence.
Caitlin absolutely loves being part of the MM team! Favorite performance credits include Irving Berlin's I Love a Piano (Eileen), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Betty Lou Who), and a contract as a Mainstage Performer with Disney Cruise Line. She is finishing her English degree at Arizona State University Online. Caitlin finds daily inspiration from the books of Brené Brown, music, and the world around her. Favorite hobbies include traveling around the world, playing with her cat, and laughing. She is grateful to be surrounded by an incredible team of artists and friends at MM who provide a constant source of joy and inspiration.